As some may know, I grew up and aged out of the foster care system here in Maine, and it makes me sad to read some of the comments made on the Portland press and WGME's article about the needs of foster parents. The truth is that yes we do need more foster parents and good foster parents. It is incredibly difficult to be a foster parent just as it is incredibly difficult to be a foster child.
"There are more than 1,300 households in Maine currently licensed as foster homes. Becoming a foster home begins without having to make a full commitment. The first step is attending an informational session hosted by the DHHS Office of Child and Family Services. Moving forward in the process involves an application process, three positive references, a criminal background check, a fire safety inspection of the home in question, and a DHHS home study to identify strengths and needs of an applicant’s home." (http://stateandcapitol.bangordailynews.com/2015/03/30/dhhs-more-than-500-parent-less-maine-kids-looking-for-forever).
SO here is the unwritten part... DHHS has to also ensure that these home meet certain standards, as well as the investigate to making sure the home is a "good fit and safe" for youth. I have a friend that has been trying to become a foster parent for some time now, and because there is one night a month that she would have to rely on a sitter, DHHS will not allow he to become a foster parent. The other ugly truth is that foster families become attached to children and it is incredibly hard for them to send them back to their biological families, were they worry that the child can be removed again. It is a possibility, but the child has a right to be placed back with their biological families, and for most that is where they would rather be. Other struggles are that for many foster parents out there, it is a pay check that they want, not to make a difference in the lives of a child/children. So why do we have so many licensed foster homes with no youth? For some families they must become licensed in order to take in a family member also known as 'kinship care', for these families they must go through the background checks, house inspections, and application to become a 'foster parent' for a family member then when that family member ages out or is reunited with their family (and some run away, enter into the juvenile justice system or are homeless) these homes are not utilized because the family was only applying for the family member to be in their care, not unknown children. For many youth in the foster care systems, there is no open placements for them because they are seen as "troubled" or "unruly" children, so in other words they push the boundaries of their foster parents, and then are placed into group homes, correction facilities, New Beginnings, or are staying at the homeless shelters because no foster placement want to take children with "problems."
But the story can change....
I was recently told that I am part of 1% of Maine's youth in foster care
that have gone on to achieve a Master degree.... a number that is too
low. We need to support our youth academically and mentally. When I was
in elementary school and high school, I was passed in my courses barely, never given the support I really needed to go on to college, because "I was just a youth in care who would not go on to college." My teachers praised me for my athletic abilities and I was well liked because I stayed quiet. When I started hanging out with the "wrong crowd" it was expected... I was a foster kid. When my grades dropped no one took the time to help me. But I went on to pass enough to be accepted into USM, and it took me the last 13 years to finally graduate with my BSW and now will be completing my MSW in the next month! I am passionate and have found the right professors that care about my success. I had the support of the Youth Leadership Advisory Team (YLAT) growing up, and stayed connected to a few key supports that I had once I accepted that I was a youth in care and that I could be more than a statistic-- I could become something great! I am passionate to work with youth in foster care and to help make their lives better, to be a key support in their life as I had those key supports in my life!
For many youth they want better, choose better, and are determined to not become a statistic..... they go on to college, have careers, families, and make a difference for the lives of other youth in foster care. I am not alone in my quest to become better.... there are some amazing former youth in care doing great things...
For the last two years I have been working on trying to build the Foster Care Alumni of America (FCAA) Maine Chapter, signing up youth in care at the age of 18 and trying to reach any Maine youth who have aged out of the foster care system to come together to work on building police, support and a family for those in the foster care system. It has been a difficult feat, with Maine being so rural, and DHHS not having identifying information of former youth in foster care if is difficult, but with the help of some key partners, we are still working on it! Please check out the FCAA site to see all the great things that youth in care are doing, what they have done, and please remember not to judge a youth in care, to support their dreams and hopes. If you or anyone you know is thinking of becoming a foster parent you should not let the stories or comments made on news articles scare you and do your own research and talk to current youth in foster care who can tell you all you want and need to know about raising a youth in foster care!
Update:
So I decided to write to the editor about this article..
http://www.pressherald.com/2015/04/09/letter-to-the-editor-youth-in-foster-care-can-survive-thrive/
Resources:
Maine.gov/fostercare
http://icwa.narf.org/news/1800?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+IcwaInfo+%28ICWA+INFO%29
http://www.wgme.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/dhhs-need-families-take-foster-kids-26610.shtml#.VRxlCeEZuip
http://stateandcapitol.bangordailynews.com/2015/03/30/dhhs-more-than-500-parent-less-maine-kids-looking-for-forever-homes/
http://www.fostercarealumni.org/
http://www.ylat.org/
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